Jesus Honors Singles:

A Second Test Plot for Greatness

Matthew 19:7-12

The sister of comedian Clinton Jackson told him that he shouldn’t drink anymore. She said humans are the only animals that drink milk after they’ve been weaned. Clinton Jackson loved milk but he was stumped. Finally he understood why humans are the only animals to continue drinking milk. It’s because they’re the only animals with cookies.

Babies don’t have a choice about being weaned but we all choose whether or not to drink milk.

It’s the same with being single. Sometimes it’s a choice and sometimes it’s not.

Single is a broad category. It includes widows and widowers, divorcees and those never married. They are a huge part of the population. In the last data available there were around 96 million singles ages 18 and older and 127 million married. About 60 million had never been married. Another 37 million were either divorced or widowed.  In our congregation we have almost 30 adult singles or about one third of our members. 

So as you can see, this is an important group. Jesus honored them and saw them as a another test plot for greatness right along side marriage.

Matthew 19:7-12. Page 1160.

7 The Pharisees asked him, “Why, then, did Moses give the law for a man to hand his wife a divorce notice and send her away?” 

8 Jesus answered, “Moses gave you permission to divorce your wives because you are so hard to teach. But it was not like that at the time of creation. 9 I tell you, then, that any man who divorces his wife for any cause other than her unfaithfulness, commits adultery if he marries some other woman.” 

10 His disciples said to him, “If this is how it is between a man and his wife, it is better not to marry.” 

11 Jesus answered, “This teaching does not apply to everyone, but only to those to whom God has given it. 12 For there are different reasons why men (eunuchs) cannot marry: some, because they were born that way; others, because men made them that way; and others do not marry for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven. Let him who can accept this teaching do so.”

The Pharisees had angered Jesus with their callous disregard for marriage. So he had countered their evil hypocrisy them with a strict verdict on their divorces. That unglued the disciples and they said, “Then it’s better not to marry.”

Jesus didn’t disagree with them. He outlined three reasons why men might not marry:

1. They were eunuchs from birth.

2. They were forced to be eunuchs.

3. They chose to be eunuchs.

In others words, they had no choice in the matter or they chose it. It’s the same for singles. There’s a principle here that applies to all singles. Some didn’t, don’t and won’t have a choice. Others did, do or will have a choice.

Regardless of when or how a person became single Jesus sees them as test plots for greatness in the kingdom of heaven. The ground rules are the same. Greatness is achieved through humility because humility is the primary tool needed to deal with sin. Let’s review these ideas from chapter 18.

· It takes a humble person to look out for interests of others to protect them from sin.

· It takes a humble person to guard against the temptations we’re particularly vulnerable to.

· It takes a humble person to have compassion on the sinner even when it’s costly.

· It takes a humble person to properly confront the person who has sinned against us.

· It takes a humble person to forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive again and again.

Greatness in the kingdom of God is not dependent on marital status. For example, the Apostle Paul is arguable one of the strongest Christian who ever lived. He was either never married or a widower during most of his ministry for the kingdom.

Paul said that it was good not to marry. But he conceded that since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband (1Corinthians 7:1-2).

Paul had this advice for unmarried and widows:

Singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. (1Corinthians 7:8-9)

Paul called being single a gift (7:7). Why would he say that? 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (The Message)

 I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. (Example) The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.  I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.

Without the distractions that accompany marriage the single has a head start on kingdom greatness.

Of course, Jesus was also single. And it’s interesting to note that some of his best friends were single. Just for fun let’s take a look at some of them.

· Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, were all single. At least the three are always together and there’s no mention of spouses. Jesus wept with them after their brother died and spent time in their home – once for a brief refuge right before his own death.

· Of his disciples (Many were teens.) it’s hard to know which ones were single and which was were married. But John was singled out as the disciple Jesus loved. He may have been Jesus’ best friend.

· Mary Magdalene was one of the women Jesus healed. She was one of the three women with Jesus at the foot of the cross. Jesus also chose to appear to her first after the resurrection.

· Peter is the one disciple that we know for sure was married at least at one time though he may have been a widower by the time Jesus knew him.  Peter along with John was probably the closest to Jesus. Jesus also stayed in Peter’s home on at least one occasion when he healed his mother-in-law.

Jesus had an affinity for singles.
  In closing I want to take a look at what two leaders in Christian singles’ ministries have said to other singles.

  Harold Ivan Smith[1] is an author, counselor, speaker and teacher. He was a founding member of the Network of Single Adult Leaders. He is a single adult and lives in Kansas City, Missouri. His books on singles include: 51 Good Things To Do While Waiting for the Right One to Come Along, Singles Ask and Holy Me: The Single Adult’s Guide to the Spiritual Journey. 

He says: I am one single adult on an intense journey to a destination called wholeness, trying to make sense of a wonderful reality, a tenderly outrageous gift called Grace, modeled by a Galilean single adult who said, “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10).”

From wherever you are at this moment, you can begin the pilgrimage. There is a time called now. There is a place called here. There is a gracious invitation to which you can answer 'Yes!'

Michelle Kinney Hammond[2] is a bestselling author, speaker, singer and television co-host.  She has authored over 30 books (selling over one million copies worldwide), including best-selling titles The Diva Principle: Secrets to Divine Inspiration for Victorious Attitude, Single-Minded Devotion: Reflections for a Single Journey and Sassy, Single and Satisfied: Secrets to Loving the Life Your Living.

She says: Remember that you are an important part of the global community and one word, one action from you can touch the world and have profound and deeply lasting impact beyond your personal sphere.

Therefore pray unceasingly, choose wisely, love freely, live purposefully, give lavishly and surrender daily to God’s plan for your life. You will be amazed at all that unfolds! Here’s to you being your magnificent best!

Whether we are single or married we are on earth to glorify God and to enjoy him forever. Let us always be united in his service doing our best for his Kingdom. That’s the most important choice.

Youth Message

Do you want to get married?

 I have a very important question to ask you: Do you want to get married when you grow up or do you want to stay single?

 How will you make your final decision?

 Pray

 Get to know a lot of people and work at being a good friend to them. Learn to do what other people want to do. Take an interest in their hobbies. Invite people to share the things you enjoy. Be humble and honest.

 Start now if picking and keeping good quality friends.

 Set goals for your life. You might have more success with some goals if you stay single. The Bible says you might be able to serve God better because you wouldn’t be distracted by being married or by having children. But God also likes marriage.

 So I think we will have to wait and see what God does in your life and how he leads you.

For your treat today, you’re going to get some giant gumdrops. You know why? Because we all hope that whether you get married or stay single, you’ll drop by every Sunday and worship with us.